Can You Love Jesus Too Much?

A few years ago, I posted a short video on YouTube—a quick, three-minute reflection about the theologian A.W. Tozer. Little did I know that video would spark debates and continue to garner social media comments even years later. Something in those few words struck a nerve. It revealed a complex and often polarizing conversation about faith, love, and priorities that continues to resonate with many. That’s why I decided to explore it in depth in episode 38 of Cabernet and Pray (and share many of the very opinionated comments I've received!).

Let’s start with a story. Tozer, a revered Christian writer and pastor, left a significant legacy through works like The Pursuit of God. But after his death, his wife, Ada, remarried and shared an eye-opening reflection: “Aiden loved Jesus Christ, but Leonard Odom loves me.” That statement has stayed with me for years. It isn’t a condemnation of Tozer’s faith—it’s an honest acknowledgment of her experience in their marriage. It made me think: how do we reconcile a profound love for God with the equally vital command to love others?

Tozer’s life illustrates a potential pitfall in the Christian walk. It’s possible to pour yourself into your faith so completely that you unintentionally neglect the relationships closest to you. Ada’s words weren’t an attack on Tozer’s devotion; they were a window into how she felt as his partner. It’s a sobering reminder that our love for Jesus must manifest in our love for those around us—especially the ones we’re called to cherish most.

I’ve received many comments from people trying to make sense of Ada’s statement. Some accused her of jealousy or spiritual deficiency. Others invoked Luke 14:26, where Jesus says, “If you want to be my disciple, you must, by comparison, hate everyone else.” But is that really what Jesus meant?

Let’s unpack that verse. Jesus was using hyperbole—a deliberate exaggeration to emphasize a point. The message isn’t to literally hate your loved ones but to ensure that your commitment to Him takes precedence when those priorities come into conflict. It’s about the depth of our allegiance, not the absence of love for others.

Ada wasn’t asking Tozer to choose her over God. She reflected on how his faith shaped their relationship—and how it made her feel. Her words aren’t about competition but compatibility. Did Tozer’s love for Jesus enhance his love for her? Or did it exist in a separate sphere, disconnected from their shared life? These are tough questions, and they challenge us to examine how our faith influences our closest bonds.

Jesus Himself made it clear that loving God and loving others are inseparable. In Matthew 22, when asked about the greatest commandment, Jesus replied: “You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: Love your neighbor as yourself” (Mt. 22:37-40). Notice that—equally important.

You can’t fully love God without loving the people He’s placed in your life. And that love isn’t theoretical; it’s practical, tangible, and sacrificial. It shows up in the way we treat our spouse, children, neighbors—even strangers and enemies. Tozer’s devotion to Jesus was unquestionable, but Ada’s experience reminds us that faith isn’t only about theology or ministry; it’s about relationships.

If we believe Jesus’ words in Matthew 25—“When you did it to one of the least of these, my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me”—then every interaction becomes an opportunity to encounter Him. Our love for Jesus reflects how we care for the hurting, the marginalized, and those closest to us. It’s not enough to worship Jesus in solitude or theology; we must embody His love daily.

So, can you love Jesus too much? I don’t think so. But you can love Him in a way that fails to translate into love for others. You can become so focused on your personal faith journey that you overlook the people who reveal His presence in your life.

Let’s take Ada’s story as a cautionary tale. Loving Jesus should inspire us to love better—not just in grand, spiritual terms but in the everyday ways that matter most. It’s not about choosing between God and others; it’s about allowing God’s love to flow through us, transforming our relationships and leaving no one feeling second place.

This week, I challenge you to love Jesus well by loving the people around you. In every interaction, look for His face. Let’s aim for a faith that doesn’t just worship Jesus but embodies Him in every aspect of our lives.

Click here to watch or listen to the full episode.