Making It Through Difficult Times

This past weekend, I shared a lot of my story (in particular, some challenges these last four years) in a message called "Making It Through Difficult Times as a Couple." It was part of a love, dating, and marriage series at the church.

I taught from a passage where the Apostle Paul similarly shares some of the pain of his own journey.

“So to keep me from becoming proud, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger from Satan to torment me and keep me from becoming proud. Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. Each time he said, 'My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.' So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” 2 Corinthians 12:7b-10, NLT

This led to a question that shapes the way you handle difficult times, especially in the context of relationships: What if we allowed the hardships in our life to make our relationships better?

I shared some findings from expert relationship researchers John and Julie Gottman, particularly their concept of a love map. They've found that “Couples who have detailed love maps of each other's world are far better prepared to cope with stressful events and conflict” (The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work).

Emerging stronger from difficult times isn't always the default posture, but rather than becoming bitter, we can learn to expect Jesus to show up in profound ways.

"The kindest people are not born that way, they are made. They are the souls that have experienced so much at the hands of life, they are the ones who have dug themselves out of the dark, who have fought to turn every loss into a lesson. The kindest people do not just exist — They choose to soften where circumstance has tried to harden them, they choose to believe in goodness, because they have seen firsthand why compassion is so necessary. They have seen firsthand why tenderness is so important in this world." Bianca Sparacino