We Listen, We Don't Judge

This past Sunday, I preached about the often-misunderstood practice of confession. Most of us feel instant anxiety when we hear the word "confession" - similar to what I felt when I once discovered my hotel room had clear glass bathroom walls! I'll never forget that moment of panic, standing there with the chair of our elder board, both of us realizing we were about to know each other much better than planned. Thankfully, I found a button that turned the glass cloudy. I want to help you find that same "button" for confession that removes the fear we often have of it.

Many of us associate confession with either dwelling on our worst sins or being forced to share personal dirt with others. But confession is actually something entirely different.

In Luke 18, Jesus tells a story of two men praying at the temple - a respected religious leader (Pharisee) and a despised tax collector. The Pharisee's prayer was all about himself: "I'm not like other sinners... I fast twice weekly... I give a tenth of my income." Meanwhile, the tax collector wouldn't even look up, simply beating his chest saying, "God, be merciful to me, a sinner." Surprisingly, Jesus says the tax collector, not the apparently righteous Pharisee, went home justified before God.

This parable reveals the heart of confession. As Rob Bell puts it, "Confession is like really, really healthy vomit. It may smell and get all over the front of your shirt, but you feel better, you feel cleansed when you're done." We all recognize this truth in phrases like "getting something off my chest" or feeling "lighter" after sharing something difficult.

I see two powerful aspects of confession. First, confession to God. The early church created what's known as the Jesus Prayer from this very story: "Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner." In the Eastern Orthodox tradition, believers use prayer ropes called "chotkis" to pray this repeatedly. I've found this practice transformative - something literally shifts inside me when I pray this simple prayer in moments of stress or judgment. I've used my prayer rope while waiting in long lines, when feeling anxious, or when tempted to judge others.

Second, confession to others. While Scripture encourages us to "confess your sins to each other so that you may be healed," I caution against forcing confession in church settings. We shouldn't extract the New Testament's teachings on confession from their first-century house church context and apply them rigidly to our modern church model. Forced confession produces judgment and resentment. True healing comes when confession is invited within safe, trusting relationships.

I closed our service by reading Psalm 137 - a raw, gut-wrenching confession where the exiled Israelites express violent thoughts toward their Babylonian captors. This psalm reminds us that God can handle our darkest emotions. Until we name what's weighing us down, we can't rob it of its power over us.

So what's weighing you down today? What healing might you find through honest confession - with God or with someone you trust? May we be people who humbly connect with God rather than perform righteousness for show.